top of page
  • Washington Lies

Metroid: The NES Classic That Has More Surprises Than a Jack-in-the-Box on a Trampoline!



If you've ever dreamt of donning a space suit, shooting lasers at alien creatures, and exploring a maze-like extraterrestrial world, all while embodying an 8-bit character who takes the term "running in circles" to an astronomical new level, then boy, do I have a game for you! Yes, folks, we're diving into the labyrinthine madness that is the NES classic, "Metroid."


Welcome to planet Zebes. Picture the most deserted, alien-infested, explosion-prone place in the galaxy. Zebes is exactly that, but with more techno beats. It's like if an alien disco had a baby with a Gothic cathedral. And hey, if that doesn't sell you on this game, I'm not sure what will!


You play as Samus Aran, an interstellar bounty hunter, and the galaxy's number one exterminator. Your mission: eradicate the alien menace, the Metroids. It's sort of like Orkin, but with more laser guns and floating jellyfish creatures. And your boss isn't just any boss; it's a Mother Brain in a jar. Literally. Nothing says 'workplace superiority' like a pulsating brain sitting on top of a massive alien computer.


Here's the kicker: The game is HARD. Yes, it's so challenging that you might want to invest in a new NES controller – you know, just in case the one in your hand mysteriously flies across the room. Metroid doesn't hold your hand; it throws you into a hedge maze and then sets the hedge on fire. But that's all part of its charm.


Navigation is a tad tricky. With identical-looking corridors, it's like playing hide and seek in a house of mirrors. You'll probably spend half your time asking, "Wait, haven't I been here before?" and the other half screaming, "Not these alien creeps again!" But, in time, you'll start to make sense of the game's topsy-turvy geography.


And let's not forget the power-ups! From ice beams to morphing balls, Samus's arsenal is more loaded than a hotdog at a county fair. Who needs a map when you can roll into a ball and drop bombs like a pigeon on a newly washed car?


What sets "Metroid" apart is its atmosphere. You're isolated on an alien world, surrounded by strange and deadly creatures. It's just you, your power suit, and an awesome chiptune soundtrack that'll make you feel like you're raving on another planet.


The biggest twist comes at the end. Spoiler alert! Samus is a woman. Yes, the big reveal that the badass space warrior is actually a lady was one of the greatest "gotcha" moments in gaming history. It's like finding out your favorite action hero is also your favorite superheroine.


So, should you play Metroid? Absolutely! It's a challenge, sure, but every labyrinthine corridor, every surprise alien attack, every power-up earned, and every techno beat is worth it. So strap on your space boots, charge your laser gun, and get ready to explore Zebes like a pro. Just remember, if you start feeling lost, you're probably on the right track! Happy hunting, fellow space adventurers!

11 views0 comments

Comments


bottom of page